What does it actually mean to live with an open Heart? This is a topic I’ve pondered quite a bit recently. What is this Heart? When we talk about opening the Heart we’re not necessarily referring to the physical organ in our body. Hence, why I capitalize the ‘H.' We are referring to something less tangible, a subtle force. I believe we are actually referring to a whole body phenomenon when we talk about living from the Heart. When the whole body is open and receptive, the Heart is open. It is our natural state, an open Heart. What came before the impressions of life experience.
We can likely feel when our experience is tight and constrained. Conversely, we can feel when we are more open, calm and relaxed. The differences between the two poles are quite obvious. However, it is not really apparent how we move from the prior to the latter.
We don’t actually choose to walk through life tight, with a closed Heart. On some level, yes, we can say that it is a choice but the choice is often made before we are aware of it. Where life feels constrained and we feel more pressure coming from the outside in, is likely where we don’t have the capacity to remain receptive to our experience. This starts, at the most gross level, in our physiology and slowly trickles down into our energetic and mental bodies.
In times where we close, put simply, our sensory experience is too much for our nervous system to digest. We find ourselves closed off which not only tightens our physical body, but restricts the mind from participating in the present moment. We are ‘triggered’ into the past, where we had an intense experience that required our nervous system to protect itself from the outside world, which is a tremendously intelligent function.
Nevertheless, this intelligent function cannot differentiate the experience we are currently having, where we are most likely not in danger, and the experience in the past where we were actually in danger. In these moments the body-mind is reverting back to a past version of ourselves. These edges we encounter can be great teachers of where we are operating on autopilot, showing us what once was an intelligent habit or pattern that is now outdated.
Ever feel like you were reacting to a situation as if you were a child? I constantly see this for myself when I realize I have disconnected from my Heart. That being said, living with an open Heart comes down to our capacity to remain in presence, to remain receptive to the experience that is happening now.
And how are we to do that?
Since we are not consciously choosing to close off, where we find ourselves disconnected is where we can become aware. If we take the experiences of closure not as something difficult, but as lessons in awareness we can move the mountains of limitation. We can form an awareness around what parts of us are not actually participating in life. With newfound awareness, we are able to move through life available, consciously choosing not to be a subject to parts of our nervous system that are frozen in time.
As we do this, we create trauma-informed pattern interruptions for ourselves and with that the outdated defense mechanism (or trauma) has less of a grip on us. It will no longer possess us in triggering moments because we will have the awareness to create an open-Hearted response.
There’s no doubt that life will bring many challenges our way. In the face of these many challenges we can orient ourselves to opening, which means that our body is receptive, literally receiving information and our mind is transparent, non-judgmental, and curious. It’s in these moments of great challenge that I believe, if we decide to open our Heart, we actually get to experience love. This takes practice, but if we are willing to set our intention on creating awareness, nature will present us the opportunities to grow beyond the limitations that generate closure.
It’s easy to be open, in the Heart, and extend love in situations where life is flowing effortlessly, but why does it quickly become difficult when we face the tight or challenging moments? And what are the qualities of these moments that make them challenging in the first place? I believe these to be the spaces in which we can expand our cups in order for us to experience more flow and freedom in life.
Life may contain great suffering, but living with an open Heart is about responding to life from the inside out. In other words, it’s an openness that is beyond the conditions of our outer environment. It’s what has allowed people to survive through immense suffering. It’s about creating an inner environment that is understanding of its innate wholeness.
So, where are you finding the constraint in your life? What do you do when you find yourself in these situations? Do you detach and isolate? Do you become hyperactive and vigilant? Can you connect with your body? Are you able to soften in these situations? Can you take the ‘difficulty’ of the situation as an insight? Can you hold an intention on continually opening?
I believe that living with an open Heart is less about the love that we conceptualize and more about an openness to life. Love is quite ambiguous and something that I think we have little understanding of, but being open is something we can feel in the body and mind. Our openness is what allows us to receive love.
Moreover, love is experienced in the spaces where it’s the most challenging and scary to remain open, but we have the courage to do it anyway.